Letter to Hafsa

Inspired by the book My Dear Beloved Son by Imam Al Ghazali (RA) My dear beloved son!

Knowledge without actions is madness and actions without knowledge are useless. The knowledge that today, does not keep you away from sins and that does not evoke in you the desire to obey Allah, remember, will not save you tomorrow from Hellfire. If you do not perform righteous deeds today and do not make up for the time you wasted in the past then on the Day of Judgment you will be saying:
"Ferje'yna Na'mal Saaliha."
"Send us back [to the world, O our Lord!] so that we [can] perform the righteous deeds."
Then it will be said to you:
"O you the mindless one! That is where you are coming from."

Asalaam Alaikum Hafsa.

This letter is for you, and I want you to read it and keep it with you where ever you go. I’m sure you wonder why your name sounds different to that of your cousins and grandparents or even some of your friends. You may ask yourself why we do what we do like why we pray five times a day or eat with our hands and even why we greet the way we do. Since you are my first child I expect you to hear this from me and know my dear child that there is no greater truth than this.

You are on the path of Islam and your Creator is Allah. There are 99 virtues he has revealed to us about His being, know these and respect them. Try your best to embody them for these are virtues of perfection. He is the only God worthy of worship and there is a man you must love more than any other man before you can claim you know Allah. That man is the Prophet Muhammad and when we call his name we send blessing onto him and his family for he truly was the greatest man that ever lived. Live like him; know that he was perfect and most beloved to Allah. Allah created him first and then He created the universe…that should help you know who this man is and why he is to be followed, respected and defended. Pass on his message and do so by virtue of your character let your character seep through and be the true testament of this religion.You must believe in all of Allah’s creation, His angels, His divine scriptures, His Messengers and the day of judgement where our ultimate and final abode will be determined. There are five pillars in Islam; namely fasting, salah, zakat and hajj; if one day Allah blesses you with enough money to be able to go on this sacred journey. It is important that I mention to you that Islam is BUILT on five pillars you must always remember that you must build on these pillars and not think that once you have placed your pillars on the ground you have achieved all that you wish to achieve and that you’ve done all you can in striving for paradise. Be very proactive in that task be consistent and try your best to bear in mind that greater men did greater things but you are still significant in this task to enshrining this religion.

I want to remind you that once you say the words La illaha ilAllah you are actually repeating a promise and acknowledging that you are in debt. You owe Allah your praises and you are not here for anything else but to worship Him. Remember that our greatest task is to remember Allah in all that we do. Never think you are exempt from the dhikr of Allah because the reason we remember Allah is because we have forgotten Him and humans are inherently forgetful. I suspect things will be faster and the dunya will demand so much of you by the time you’re ready to read this it will seem you have less time to do the things expected of you but you will be chasing things that are of no significance. I must warn you that this life is temporary and never be attached to it.

One day you will marry InshaAllah and perhaps I should tell you about the virtues of this act. It is important that you always remember who we are. We are women we are strong and Allah has shown us nothing but mercy with the institution of marriage. Never let anyone tell you it’s primitive to live by the laws of Allah. Know that you are covered because your body is too perfect for strange eyes- NOT because you are oppressed. Know that you cannot be out past Maghrib alone because at that time you deserve security and protection- NOT because you are oppressed. Know that you must obey your husband at all times because believe it or not the Prophet saw once mentioned in a hadith that “Had I ordered a person to prostrate to someone rather than Allah, I would have ordered the wife to prostrate to her husband.” NOT because you are oppressed. Know that you are his student and he is your teacher so remind yourself of the conduct of a student. It is important that you remain grateful and never look down on the provision of your husband because again the Prophet saw mentioned “I also saw the Hell-fire and I had never seen such a horrible sight. I saw that most of the inhabitants were women." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! Why is it so?" The Prophet replied, "Because of their ungratefulness." It was asked whether they are ungrateful to Allah. The Prophet said, "They are ungrateful to their companions of life (husbands) and ungrateful to good deeds. If you are benevolent to one of them throughout the life and if she sees anything (undesirable) in you, she will say, 'I never had any good from you.'”

Lastly I urge you to remember that you have rights in this religion as a women and no one can take these away from you. However never be too quick to demand your rights from your husband trust that he knows what your rights are and that if he is an Allah fearing man he wishes never to violate your rights. What I do urge you to do in abundance is practice patience with him. Know that Allah sees your patience and hears your prayers and perhaps he’ll change you first before He changes him in that case He has remembered you and be grateful for that.I leave you with one final thought my child. There is an organ within you that is known for being the vehicle of your soul. This organ controls the life within you. This organ is the heart; know that you should lead love and worship with this organ. Your heart must always stay pure. Your heart will be communicating to Allah in this life and when you die and know that most problems are corrected by purifying your heart. Keep the Quran in your heart, keep out the diseases of the heart. Keep training the heart and remember that the greatest jihad is that of the combat of the self. Know that within you lies your best and worst self so before you look outwardly, look and fight within.

Love, Mom